Ok, for the record, I AM A WOMAN. so for everyone out there, dont take this post wrong. but you women really shock me sometimes. i can say this, because i’m obviously different than most women, for one, i’m not a feminist. tada! yes i said it, kill me if you want. but i’m not. i believe in the way that God, my Savior, Jesus Christ, destined for us as men and women to live, for the husband to be the head of the wife and the wife to love and submit to him. but this really isnt my point. let me tell you a little story…

yesterday i had the privelege of going out to lunch with my grandmother, my three cousins, my aunt, my godmother, her daughter in law, and my godsister. my cousin ash, who i’ve written about before, has been in a relationship with a guy named mike for a few months now, maybe going on a year, i dont really remember. she always tells me how amazing he is, how handsome, charming, successful, popular he is, and what an extremely bright future he has ahead of him. this i find sorta annoying, but ultimately i’ve been happy for her (i hate being compared to her, so thats why i sometimes have a hard time with this, because it seems that with her life, plus his, she’s in the spotlight of my family all the time. ugh, i’m getting over this, its just stupid, but again, i digress). so yesterday, while we were eating lunch, she tells us that mike has been going out with some 30something year old single guys from work, and going to strip clubs. usually, when a woman would make a comment like this at a table full of women, what reaction would you expect? of course, you would think those women would have stood up with their clubs and pitchforks and been ready to go out and lynch the guy. but what did these women do? NOTHING. absolutely nothing! more or less, they made excuses as to his behavior and why she shouldnt break up with him, saying things like “ashley you dont know how good youve got it” “well, dont do anything unless he does it a third time” or my favorite “youre just being overdramatic”. needless to say, i was shocked. i KNOW these women. ive grown up around them. i would have bet money on the fact that theyd have been furious with him. but they werent. they made her feel stupid for being upset about it. the poor girl was so confused and sick that she didnt know what to do. when i finally got to talk to her about it, she said she thought she was going crazy because she felt so torn about all this.

my parents told me that the reason these women obviously werent shocked or angry about mike, was the fact that either they’d been in ashley’s position and resigned themselves to the fact that men are cheaters thru and thru and there’s nothing you can do about it; or theyre just so numb to the idea that there are men out there that believe that purity and virginity and moral fortitude are worth waiting for. my man, is wonderful. not only does he love the fact that i’m keeping myself pure for him, until our wedding day, but he’s reciprocated and had already pledged (before i knew him) that he would keep himself pure for me.

the bible states that purity doesnt just mean not sleeping with someone. purity starts in the mind. matthew 5:28 says that if you even LOOK at another person with lust in your eyes, you’ve already commited adultery with them in your heart. to God, its the same. heart issues and physical issues are the same. the fact that mike claims he went to these place and “didnt want to” “finds it disgusting” and “is a good Christian guy” are bull. 2 Corinthians 10:13 talks about temptation and says that NO temptation is too much for you, God will always give you a way out of it. that means EVERY TEMPTATION. mike could have gotten out of going. but the first time he said he was forced, the second time he was just going because thats what these guys wanted to do, but that he sat at the bar, watched sports, and texted the whole time without looking. oh puhlease. you cant honestly tell me he didnt peek. peeking, is just as bad as staring. he says “well they were offering to buy me lapdances, but i said no”. mike, honey, that doesnt change the fact that you walked in there. thirdly, as a Christian (speaking from experience) God puts His Holy Spirit inside us, and He talks to us that way, He convicts us of doing wrong. If i’d have walked into that place, my heart would have become sick even before i went thru the door becuase of God’s convicting my heart, telling me how wrong this is. this is what God does. now, this means one of two things, either mike has suppressed God’s Spirit inside of him so much that either he wasnt listening, or couldnt hear His still, small voice…or that God’s Spirit isnt inside him at all (read: he’s not really a Christ follower).

i say all this to say: i dont judge mike. God loves him regardless of what he does, did, or will do. As a follower of Christ I cant judge him, or I will get that same judgment from God in return. i love mike as a human, and as a potential brother in Christ. i love ashley and i dont look down on her for her poor choice of boyfriend. this, friends, is my point. we, as women, need to respect men, especially our husbands and boyfriends. but this does NOT mean that we must put up with infidelity, whether in mind, heart, or body. if youre married, thats a little different, i dont believe in divorce. but to shrug off a man’s sexual escapades with “well he’s a red blooded american male, its natural” is retarded. wake up women. get a backbone, even if your man wont.